SUNINGA (When will I see you?)
Richard Bona

And this is my story.

He introduced me to this song. He said it is hard to translate this song but roughly it is a sad song about a man who finds a woman and eventually loses sight of this woman. He goes on and on and looks for this woman in the forest, in the mountains…

I guess the ending is that he never really found her again.

This is my song and it started when I met him. He was a man who made me happy but hurt me along the way. Despite all, I saw in him the purity of what a human being could be… as close to perfectible as the limits of imperfectible is. He would not mean to hurt… so compassionate and yet so strong, so proud and yet so simple, so quiet and yet so meaning… He is so beautiful to the core without knowing it. I admired him and I am still in awe of the way he becomes a better person each day.

I know that for the rest of my life I will be “looking” for this man I once met in my life. Recently, we’ve decided not to talk anymore. I wanted him to fulfill his promises and I wanted him to be trusted. The other side of the coin is that I wanted to stop hurting myself and pretending not be hurt whenever I relive his loss. It was a goodbye that seemed right and wrong at the same time. It was giving up friendship while still vowing to keep it. It was a commitment to deal with our own lives the best we could and to be better people along the way.

I know I will be looking all my life. I will always be wondering if he is ok. I will always be “searching” so that I could bug him about my life’s kid stuff concerns and rebutting him for his sometimes funny logic and insightful claims. I will always be wishing I could listen to his stories about his dear ones and his pretty projects. I will always be looking forward to one day we could be proud and share what better people we have become and yet I know that I will never find him again…

It is a sad song… and a truly soulful one.