what is hormone replacement therapy?
Somebody I value told me once:
You know, there is this percent of the other sex in each one of us. Me, I’m a guy and yet I have about 3% female in me.
And you… You have about 26.32% male in you.
I asked him why he thought so. He said that I had these certain boyish ways and I don’t have a bag. Also, he says I don’t wear earrings or bracelet or even a watch. I never wear a skirt. I play with the elevator.
I just laughed it off. I tried to playfully debunk the premises of the claim of male-ness several times. I told him that not all women carry bags or purses. I said that I do wear accessories or skirts when the need arises. It’s just not practical to do so in everyday life.
Months later, somebody I’ve known only for 4 days asked me if I was a lesbian. I was taken aback. I think I was offended and worried a bit. (No, this was not the first time that I was asked this question. I could recall 2 or 3 instances I was asked directly or in jest about this. Yes, I had the same awkwardness and offense taken.) I, then, asked this valued person again. Did you ever think I’m lesbian? He said that I had these certain ways that made it suspicious. He continued, but I was supposed to ask you if you are “bi”, I just didn’t get the chance. Again, I took no offense in what he said.
I, in principle, claim that I have nothing against gay people. I have lots of gay guy friends. I am proud to be part of free Philippines where the individual is afforded so much freedom. I, out of righteousness, claim to be a tolerant person. Yet, this issue pushed me to take a look at myself. Why was I offended when everybody else but this valued friend asked me about my sexual orientation?
1. The label and the underlying stigma. The word ‘lesbian’ incited a certain shudder inside of me. The word just took with it the social stigma. Philippine society has had a long exposure to homosexuality in men. They have become prominent members of the society. The stigma isn’t entirely gone but it has been attenuated through the years. It is a different case for lesbians. They are a lot of steps behind gay men in diluting this stigma. It now surfaces to my consciousness that I am a thread in this fiber of resistance to seeing them as just obvious realities. Like many, I overtly claim they’re just one of us but I do still try to hide the fact that I am uncomfortable seeing lesbian couples but not gay men together.
2. Compliance vs Stigmatization. I was comfortable about the issue of my sexual orientation with my valued someone. Yes, I tried to push the lowering of my male percentage a couple of times by bringing his attention to the ‘girly’ things I do. But I never really felt uncomfortable negotiating these percentages with him. Why is it that I am very uncomfortable when it comes to other people? The thing is, I already know a lot of these things that make it seem like I have more testosterone than an average female has. I’ve got a very low voice (oh yeah, the songs I sing in videoke with ease are sung by male singers). I slouch a lot. I have this very unrefined gait. I have secretly justified these irregularities to myself–maybe I have a cerebellar or basal ganglia lesion, maybe I have an endocrine imbalance. That need to justify arises from my felt need to be at least in compliance with the expectations of my society because I fear to be part of that segment that experiences largely unelaborated yet pervasive discrimination. The females have to be “girly”. And because it seems like I have no hope of being “girly”, I try to blame it on biology so it would seem like trying would be a futile thing to do. Yet, I know deep inside of me, I could take extra effort to be more girly… but I just like this carelessness. Aggregating all these “girly” ways… it just seems to take a lot of time!!! I’d rather rest than do these things! 
I like myself this way. Yet, I don’t like the label of being lesbian because of the stigma–which I, myself, propagate–attached to it. That is why, for people like my valued friend discussing it is not associated with any offense taken. I am secure that he knows that I’m not a lesbian and that I’m just different. This seeming compulsion to compliance to the norm isn’t rooted from a conformist way. It is rooted in my struggling suppression of, but often resurfacing, discrimination of lesbians.
Again, I can’t find any justified reason to judge gayness as unacceptable. The unfamiliar is just scary. Give me and this society a few years. I’ve seen all these talk about showbiz folks claiming they are lesbians(true or not)… It does help. Showbiz is just too powerful.
this is an interesting piece. are you referring to kinsey’s scale? but i guess you are talking about something else. this replacement hormone therapy what does it achieve? and is it available just for anyone who wants it?
By: max on July 1, 2007
at 10:04 am
Thanks Max!
Nope, when my friend told me I’m 26.32% male, I don’t think he was referring to Kinsey’s scale. He was not pertaining to my sexual orientation–as defined by the sex or gender I find sexually attractive–rather he was referring more broadly about gender roles…the crude stereotypes of what men and women should be like in their clothing, their manners, and the like. Boys should be playing with cars and girls should be playing with dolls. People asking me if I’m lesbian is probably reflective of the fact that gender roles are intricately associated with and sometimes equated with one’s sexual orientation. That is, a woman who plays more of male gender roles = a woman sexually oriented towards finding other women sexually attractive–a lesbian. The thing is, sexual orientation is just a subset of the gender roles assigned in a particular society. Part of a woman’s gender role is to be sexually attracted to men. The other gender roles are fast changing in society. What types of jobs men and women are expected to have is fast changing. Male nurses and female pilots are now commonplace. Gender roles are increasingly obscured.I think, Kinsey’s scale, in showing the spectrum of possible sexual orientation and how people can be expected to be at different parts of the scale at different times in their life, reflects this same pattern of how gender roles are being increasingly obscured in the particular aspect of his or her sexual orientation. If I may extend the value of this scale to this discussion, what it does is to make the concept of gender, itself, a very fluid one.
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is broadly about increasing levels of certain hormones in the body. It is most commonly used in menopausal women–women who have presumably low levels of hormones like estrogen and progesterone–to increase these lacking hormones for benefits like decreasing the discomfort of menopause and the risk of osteoporosis. It is also used by the transgendered or the transsexuals to have bigger boobs. This therapy may be in the form of tablets, intrauterine devices, or injections and are highly available.
It must be noted, however, that it is not without side effects. For example,it may increase the risk of having a heart attack in certain patient populations. In fact, some people should not have it such as if they are pregnant or they have liver disease or coronary artery disease. As such, it is recommended that this therapy be done under the supervision of a physician.
I used hormone replacement therapy as a metaphor in this entry for the vehicles of change in society. In the same way, we can change sexual characteristics with drugs, the society is able to change how gender roles are being defined through many avenues like education and mass media. Women are given more educational opportunities and this contributes to why they are able to take on previously male-dominated jobs. Startalk and other showbiz shows talk more about lesbians equipping people with the familiarity to these different sexual orientations people can assume. This increasing familiarity is possibly a vector to challenge norms like ‘women should be sexually attracted to men only’.
By: silverfork on July 1, 2007
at 11:42 am
I thought it would be interesting to put one of these blogthings here…
Post yours here, too!
By: silverfork on July 1, 2007
at 1:50 pm
Excellent piece…..I truly enjoyed it! –Geoff
By: Geoff on August 8, 2007
at 8:10 pm
Thanks Geoff!
By: silverfork on August 12, 2007
at 10:46 am